Elsa Holland

Historical Romance Writer: LUSH SENSUAL READS

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The Weekend Writing Warriors share 8 sentences over the weekend. Here are mine from the start of  Lily & the Mechanic

 

London 1898

The sun had long gone down and the fog was lifting off the city like a reluctant and indifferent lover. Her black lace veil and the tight, corseted fixtures of fashion ensured that Lady Miriam Rothbury was well concealed as the door opened to the well-known Bond Street bookshop.

A bell ran discordant and a rather squat, balding shop-keeper hurried forward.
“Oh dear, dear me, I regret to say we are closed, is your carriage still here?” he peered hopefully outside.
“But you’re not closed now are you or I would not be inside.”

She lifted her reticule, the click of the clasp opening flared his interest. Interest which blossomed into full receptiveness as she flashed the neatly folded pound notes tucked within the pink folds.
In less than a few moments of whispered exchange she stepped through the opening of a pivoting book case and down the dimly lit, heavily worn stairs to the illicit basement shop beneath.

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© Elsa Holland

Image © Dascha Friedlová

36 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors #8Sunday

  1. You have lovely poetic prose 🙂 I’m definitely curious about what comes next. Sounds like some sort of secret society or something.

    My favorite line, “The sun had long gone down and the fog was lifting off the city like a reluctant and indifferent lover.” I love setting descriptions 😀 Some people find them a bit boring, but I think they aren’t when done right and contribute to the mood of the piece. Here, it seems dark and foreboding.

    About these lines, “She lifted her reticule, the click of the clasp opening flared his interest. Interest which blossomed into full receptiveness as she flashed the neatly folded pound notes tucked within the pink folds.”

    I’m not sure why the word interest is repeated? Sometimes repetition is used for effect but it was lost on me here :/ I would combine the two sentences, “She lifted her reticule, the click of the clasp opening flared his interest, which blossomed into full receptiveness as she flashed the neatly folded pound notes tucked within the pink folds.”

    Also I don’t know what pound notes are. . . I figure that this is something relevant in the late 1800s? Anyway, great snippet and looking forward to next week ^^

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      Wow thx for the great feed back!! And yes you are very right about the repeat, I have a coll at editing that as you suggest!! 🙂

      Like

  2. Daisy Banks says:

    Very atmospheric and gave me lovely visual image of her. I could almost smell that old bookshop. I like the idea of the secret bookroom downstairs.

    Like

  3. FCEtier says:

    “The sun had long gone down and the fog was lifting off the city like a reluctant and indifferent lover.”
    Great opening line!
    I bet a lot goes on besides reading downstairs…

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      Yes you’re the first one to really pick up on that LOL

      Like

  4. Frank Fisher says:

    You’ve painted a nice picture of London, especially in the first sentence, mixed with poetry. Nice snippet!

    Like

  5. evelynjules says:

    Absolutely love this opening line: The sun had long gone down and the fog was lifting off the city like a reluctant and indifferent lover. – So beautifully descriptive! And I’m very intrigued by the final line too, about the illicit basement shop. Can’t wait for more! 🙂

    Like

  6. Alexis Duran says:

    Very intriguing. I love how you tell us nothing about her beyond her appearance- builds the mystery. And the secret shop in the basement- wonderful. This is a great opening. Yes, it could use a little light editing and tightening, but nothing major.

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      Thx Alexis any editing hints will be well received 🙂

      Like

  7. Juneta says:

    Very Mysterious, Nice snipped. I like the whole sensation you created going down into the forbidden basement. BTW I love the art on your website. I like the atmosphere and feel it creates. The black, white and brown woman’s face I found very expressive.
    Juneta at Writer’s Gambit

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      Thx Juneta:-) The black and white is by Dascha friedlova, i use a lot of her work with permission. I love her imagery very moody.You can find her on facebook and is very approachable if you want to use her images:-)

      Like

  8. burnsmillie says:

    Ooh, I wonder what is going on downstairs…looking forward to more next week!

    Like

  9. Gem says:

    Very atmospheric scene I’m picturing in a Victorian setting. Intriguing 8!

    Like

  10. Cara Bristol says:

    Compelling voice and tone. You make me wonder what she will encounter.

    Like

  11. Highly atmospheric and entices the reader to keep reading definitely! Loved all the details and the way she refuses to be stopped. Great 8!

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      Thx Veronica much appreciated!

      Like

  12. Christina Ochs says:

    Nice snippet! You’ve set up a very gloomy, mysterious atmosphere. Just how I like my Victorian London. 🙂

    Like

  13. Botanist says:

    “But you’re not closed now are you or I would not be inside.” – impeccable logic and this sounds like a woman who doesn’t know the meaning of “no” 🙂

    Welcome to WWW, looking forward to more.

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      Well spotted, she’s definitely a strong character 🙂 Many thanks for checking the post out. See you next week!

      Like

  14. Fantastic opening line and wonderful imagery! I could see the bookshop clearly. And I would love to know what goes on downstairs in the shop below. I’m intrigued.

    Like

  15. Sarah W says:

    I have a feeling that the “pink folds” of her reticule are the best kind of suggestive foreshadowing?

    Lovely snippet! Can’t wait to see what kind of ‘goods’ might be offered below stairs. 🙂

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      You’re very astute Sarah 🙂

      Like

  16. Dagnabbit! A day late and everyone has already made all the great comments. 🙂 This piece is wonderful, Elsa. Foreshadowing, imagery, character building, all wrapped up in fluid writing. I wonder what kind of shop that IS downstairs. I’m guessing from the title that the lady ‘ain’t no lady”.

    Like

    1. Elsa Holland says:

      Th for the encouragement Teresa, it’s very well received 🙂

      Like

  17. EE Giorgi says:

    oooohhhhh…. really love that opening line !!!!

    Like

  18. elainecsc2013 says:

    You hooked me. I’m dying to know what’s in the basement.

    Like

  19. Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors, very intriguing start, you caught my attention.

    Like

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