The Weekend Writing Warriors share 8 sentences over the weekend. Here are mine from the start of a historical novella set in Victorian London called Lily & the Mechanic.
Lily’s real name is Miriam. The Mechanic calls her Lily because she smelled of Lily of the Valley the first night they met. This snippet is just before the climax of the story where the Mechanic’s identity is revealed. It aims to show that’s she’s a different woman from their encounters and that who she is with him is who she wants to be ….. right before it all gets taken away.
“Stop fidgeting Miriam.”
She didn’t feel like a Miriam any more, she felt like Lily. When she was Lily that dark weight that she carried as Miriam, the one that felt embedded into her, was somehow lifted.
“I am thinking of using my middle name.”
Aunt D. pulled a face, “Winifred is not a name you take by choice dear, Miriam will do fine.”
No, it wouldn’t.
“I want to be called Lily.” A flutter ran through her at that; the more she thought about it the more she wanted it, the more she wanted to be Lily all the time.
© Elsa Holland
Link to Weekend Writing Warriors and the list of other authors
I love this moment of her choosing who she wants to be <3
Yes me too, a little cruel to do it just before being Lily feels like it was built on a lie. But we wouldn’t want to read it if it didn’t twist us up just a little LOL.
You have a dark underbelly 😉
I’ll take that as the compliment it is <3 LOL
Heaven defend us from Aunts Who Know Everything!
I’d love to go back and read Miriam/Lily’s journey to this point. The Mechanic intrigues me, too!
Is this out now? Or is there an ETA?
I totally understand her perspective. Great snippet, Elsa. 🙂
Funny how names work that way, but I totally get her wanting to be called Lily. 🙂 Great snippet, as always!
She knows what she wants. Great snippet.
Interesting snippet. Intrigued to know more. (tweeted)
Oooh, I love how she’s coming into her own, but now I’m filled with foreboding about what’s next. Great snippet, as always!
Powerful scene. Great snippet. 🙂
Yes! Be Lily! although I’m with others who have said now they’re worried about your character, given your hints things are about to go badly for her. A very intriguing story, great 8!
She’s got a right to be called by the name she wants!
Hmmm. My interest has been piqued. You’ve baited the hook well.
I love her struggle for her identity. I have the feeling her aunt won’t like that though.
Agree with the others, her search for her identity … great hooked. Looking forward to reading more.